I think there are so many times in life that we find ourselves saying yes to things we don’t really want. We say yes to what society thinks we should look like, pick careers based on what our family thinks we should do, date people our friends think we should date, and take on responsibilities that we don’t necessarily want to take. Don’t get me wrong, there are many times when saying yes to something could lead to a pleasant surprise, but if we constantly say yes to things out of fear of disappointing people, then we will always be working our way out of situations that we didn’t want from the start.
It’s taken me a really long time to realize that sometimes it’s ok to say no to the beliefs that others place on me. For so long I have said yes to everything in fear of missing out on an opportunity or thinking that someone might know me more than I know myself. Even when my gut would tell me otherwise, I would still do it. I would completely overcommit myself, take on roles that I didn’t want to take, and allow others to tell me what they “could see” for my life because I was scared to say no. Sometimes it’s the things we are saying yes to that are actually keeping us from moving forward. For example, a relationship you know isn’t right but keep circling back to, a job that makes you miserable every day but don’t have the confidence to make a change, or a persona that you have built up for so long that you feel like you have no other choice but to maintain it. Whether you realize it or not, you are choosing to say yes to those things by not making a conscious change.
Did saying yes help me realize what I truly want?
Did continuing to say yes hold me back in situations much longer than I wanted?
Self confidence is about knowing who you are, what you want with your life, and ultimately what you deserve. This isn’t about being selfish or doing things for selfish reasons, this is about what truly sets you apart – your individuality. It’s about fulfilling the promise to yourself of who you were born to be. When you are a good person, with good intentions, that will ultimately be the part that shines through. If you continue to live your life saying yes to who others think you should be or keeping up appearances because you are afraid to rock the boat, you will always be unhappy.
Life Lesson #3 – The longer we stay distracted by things we don’t want in life, the longer we keep ourselves from finding the things we actually do. It’s okay to have the courage to say this isn’t who I am or this isn’t what I want for my life. Inevitably there will always be the chance that someone won’t agree but the alternative is leading a life where you are unhappy because you’re scared to disrupt someone else’s idea of you. Be brave and create the life that you deserve not because you feel obligated, not because you feel comfortable, but because it is your life and you deserve to tell people who YOU are and not the other way around.
Q: What things are you saying yes to in life that are holding you back because you are afraid to say no?